i am just a plain girl

i am just a plain girl.
i saw myself as one.
.

official! official!!!!

i am OFFICIALLY free!!!!!!!!!!
no assignment no more!
no exam!!

ok~
next...
what to do?

tolong jangan merajuk.

zamri azmi...
tolong jangan merajuk.
i promise i'll make it up to you.

don't be like this.
huuu!!!
=(



-izzy yang runsing-

Letting go is not easy.

Are you my friend? Close enough to call yourself my friend?

If you are, then you surely know how hard it is for me to let go. I am not someone who can easily let something go without reason. To be honest, I find myself selfish. And even if I want to let go, I just can't.

I can still remember everything that I want but I can't get. Some will finally come to me after I lost my hope but since I never let go, it is still in my want-list. The question here, is it still the same, the feeling of wanting after you 'think' you are able to let go, with the feeling of wanting the new now.

Ok, you maybe cannot understand the point here. Well, that is maybe the purpose of the post today, not wanting you to understand the purpose.

My own twisted feelings and words welcome the hurt. They certainly welcome the uncertainty and will involve few rounds of some salty water running down the cheeks.

I can't still get over it. I know.

See? It is not because I don't want to, but I just can't. I think it is simply because I am afraid of moving on, to face an entirely new phase of life. Am still holding on to the past.

Which apparently doesn't really matter to others anymore but me.

Luck? Fate? Faith?

I dont think the sacred 4-letter-word started with L is not something I can call bestfriend at the moment for it will only killing me from the inside. Slowly, but hard. Is there truly happily ever after or just another mere myth?


It is killing me by minute.

have you?

Ever be in a situation where you don't know what shall you do to make things right?
Or to make sure you make the right decision, not to regret it later on?
Well, yes, experience is an euphemism of mistakes, and it enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. However, I believe this time, I am not quite sure if I am able to handle the pain. Again.

Call me a loser, I know. And how I know I'll get the advice of 'you are still young' or 'you have so many things ahead so don't worry blablabla' or 'your time is not here yet' yadayada. Believe me, I have tons of that I think it is enough to make me publish a good book on it. Failure, in everything you do, is a teacher, really, -a harsh one, but can be the best. When you make mistakes, you know you will learn from it. But you don't want to forever making mistakes, do you?

Rushing into one thing might be one big fat mistake that I've done few times and I am not going to make it again. On the far side of failure, you can see the success is waving at you, but I believe the sweet little success there also keep on shouting, "Don't rush, give yourself chances to work it out".

I don't think I am good at lying. I failed miserably few times and I don't want to do it again. So yes, I believe I have a problem with my heart. I choose terribly, I think poorly, I cant let myself be too happy as the phobia taught me to always be aware. You cant be too happy, can you? Oh now I sound stupid.

Since when I think it is hurt to be in love?

It is hard to understand a man, harder to understand a woman, hardest to understand yourself. Don't you think so too?

216

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."

I have nothing to offer you.

Other than kindness and smiles,
I have but to offer you nothing else.

I can give you word,
of advice, of sharing, of giving you tips,
for you to think and use it wisely.

I can give you my shoulder,
to share some burden, we can make it lighter,
sure we can try.

I can give you my hands,
to help you out,with all i got,
include soothing pats and all the hugs.

I am no pretty,
not a princess with beauty and money.
Not a prize to display and forever keep.

I have nothing to offer but kindness and smiles.
So here I am,
please be my friend.

upsidedown

The mood can really turn upside down over small little thing.
Yes, and now im down.

Glad that I am still ok.
Just no longer the smile I kept the whole day.

Why?

ouch!

suddenly my heart goes 'dup dap dup dap'
where i never feel like this for sometimes.
oh really? does the feeling can really can back?
i mean, for real? i can see myself excited
over small little things.
i feel happy, and i know i deserve it.
let us just wait.
see what will happen next.

open house!

jom datang!
welcome!!