273days ago.
5:40pm

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Because nobody ever stop hurting me.

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You told me it will be forever. You lied.

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In our farawayyyyy land.

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This month exactly.

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I am so slow...

Looking at my watch, I just realized something: I am so so slow.

I need to clean my room,
I need to do my lesson planS for next week.
I need to learn how to dance like in the video.
I need to go shopping
I need to DIET.
I need to send my bags for stitches. Koyak. And shoes too.
I need to send few more cards.
I need to update my photo album (the 2011 version) in my laptop
I need to do some reading
I need to add on my jogging/exercise routine
I need to relax
I need to be positive
I need to improve on my English.
I need to REALLY improve my English.

Yes, and I am not done with the list. I told you I am slow.
So slow I can't believe I can still survive in this world now.

Yes, my morning rambling.

You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul.

No more suicide mission. I promise.

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Talking to the air

For I got no one to be mad with.
I stop looking, then-
I spot Something.
I called off. Stupid? Why?
Big reason is, I just got nothing I can make use to make meaning
Even when I am talking to the air
Yes
I am talking to no one there.
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Excited over small little things.
Smiling over and over again.
Happiness, please stay.
Even the artificial ones,
I can bear.

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Olddd

Will I get duit raya this year? Oh I want pretty please???

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Creepyyy

Few people noted to me that I am too gloomy lately. Need to cheer up a bit and tone down my creepiness haha

Haha..

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Girls forgive and forget
Guys get and forget.

Haha

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White lie.

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I'd played my role with no ties and great gusto. With a great conviction I didn't even know I felt.

Slow..

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Had a habit of not knowing where the phone is. Disaster. And it is here again.

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The heart with the broken parts
And
Colourful blood.

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Went outside for a short walk. And I felt cold. Feelingless. I hate nobody but I also need no one. I tracked my life journey for these past few months and I saw black patches. Of nothingness. I decided to just walk and continue this pattern of nothingness and feelingless. For a while. At least for a moment. As those are the things that keep me smiling. To nothingness. Cheers.

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Reason to cry

Listening to something that bring the tears

I found the reason to show. A side of me you didnt know.
The reason to start over new, and the reason is you.

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Why are you complaining?
Because no one understood.

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When the rain started to pour,
I forgot that I have no raincoat on.
So when I stutterred and showered,
The warmth that you brought
Means everything.

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The star in an orange
The moon in an apple.

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It is not a dream when it is no longer reachable. Too far.

Who do you think you are？

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Says one who cannot keep up

Well known News.
Yesterday was filled with dances and juices
So when the light is off,
The story continues,
It starts to bleed and hurting too.
Simple reason-
Hating the way it goes to.

A little bit over the moon.

"The important thing is to allow fate to intervene in our lives and to decide what is best for everyone."

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Loner

Loneliness gets stronger when we try to face it down, but gets weaker when we simply ignore it.

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No one lights a lamp in order to hide it behind the door:
The purpose of light is to create more light, to open people's eyes, to reveal the marvels around.

(paulo coello, 2008)

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Stagnant show

Either an action or reaction

Maybe an ebb or even one flow

Something is up for alters and changes

Giving trials, redo and amend errors.

Living in this pace of rhythm,
Some confidence needed to be shown
That without fear and clearer vision
One may stroll with fresh hope

Rather than living yet undecided
Stagnant with just no flow.

Bar the change, disturbance in cycles,

I said hello to people who knows.

Doses of medicine, with readings to be made,

I'll say I'm contented, at least for the day.

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The tide turned
Creeping slowly over the banks
Of sand. Of shingle.
Pools formed at the end
Of the breakwaters. Covered-
Patches of greens and blacks bore the taunting stories
Countless bubbles freed
From the sand
Trapping in the air.

Oh the moon! The moon.
A swathe of cloud
that came too soon
Blanking out the starlit sky.
Then the air grew colder
And smears of mist
Began to form
The painted skin
Glittering dew all over it.
New bribery.

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sleeping pill

Took one gulp of a drink
With hardly taken pills.
What is with all the thinking?
Big deal.
Turning onto the soft cottoncandy
When the turn directed by the nerdy
become a path
that nobody will lead.
So long baby,
have a good night sleep.

Hi-gh

An eye for an eye.
It shall be made for a try.
But i ended up cry.
For lest we forget.
Why we even start again.
The chirping sound.
Alive.
A birdie bird sharing soul.
Cracking heart.
Fly to the sky.
But everything.
Is not going.
To be fine.

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Karma

Came across something interesting, and I never think I will feel this. Oh, this is something new. A new level of stalking and being a stalker. No, maybe that is not stalking. That is just a coincidence. A big one. A funny one. One cheats, another is just the same. Hurting and being hurt, and stupid beyond words. I turned a blind eye, no, blind eyes. But the smile I get for myself is still the best one.

Thanks to the flower.

Is it wrong to not able to let go?

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Kuala Lumpur - Batu Pahat

One old lady
Sitting beside the girl
The girl smile sweetly
The old says hi and turn
She looks sad and sappy
The girl offer her a sweet
She smiles and there is a tear
Down running her cheek
The girl just touch her hand
As a gesture of concern
And let the old lady cries
But somehow deep in heart
Both feel relieved and loved
For they wont need to talk
Just with silent exchange of thought

Deep ones.

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That hardest subject

Love sure is not an easy subject to score in life. And not all will experience the same test. Some will get lucky and happy, but some will down with failure and cry to feel better. However that may be, there is no perfect score in love. Most of the time, you will be forgotten for what you did and your strength for they remembered your mistakes and your weaknesses. No, do not be sad. Held your head high and walk your way to save your pride, whatever there is left. It is not your fault when you think you are not good enough for the other person, but when that thought come across your mind, usually it works the other way around. It doesn't matter anymore. This subject might not be your specialty in life, thus you shall try another. Forget the pain. Forget the failure. One step at a time, believe that you can make your life better.

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Look at the star and how they shine for you..

It was all yellow..

It was all for me to swallow.

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To err is human.
To forgive, divine.

Forgive me,
If I have done something wrong.
Not to ignore me,
And leave it like nothing is wrong.

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Berpesan pada angin, sampaikan rasa hati.

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Looking at the sky and wonder, what will happen for the next coming years.

Because I am walking the path I should have avoided. For that is the only path I want to take right at this moment.

Oh heart oh my
Please bear this I know we all cry.
I made mistakes
I took advantage
I finally came to understand again
That the life is never fair.
Brokenhearted to pieces?
No.
To nothing.

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Hi moon! Said the star.
I am always looking at you. But you just dont know that. Maybe because you are big, maybe because you are pretty. But mind you, i will be missed.
Goodnight sweethearts

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Reading and reciting stories to
The wall.

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Sunset

At this sunset
I see the beauty of life
Eveb just for a while, it is there
And will come again
Those captured moments are the most precious ones
And will forever be in mind.

The moon
Doesn't it just happen to be
Above you
Before you know it.
It just rises up
Before you realize it.
It doesn't shine that brightly
That's why
You don't notice
When you lose sight of it
That might be the first time
You realize the existence
Of the moon

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Seeing you

All the bubblies
All the chatters
All the Stories
The dramas there
Make me feel like home again
Home of love
Home of care
Home of lots of things
Everywhere

'I'm going British nowadays'
Yeah right, nice.

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When the firefly is flying all by itself,
I see hope but a little one.
Beautiful.
But darkness all around and behind.

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Maybe we have to get a little messed up
Before we can step up.

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Lights in my heart

Slowly brightening the night
Slowly bringing the fight
To see the darkness in heart
The light
I change for the better for the worse
For the love of own life
I let myself learn
That life is simple.

Hello June

Store some of leftovers for the next feast! I shut and smile and left the faith behind. The rain in the desert. The sun that shine so bright. The future.
Babysteps.

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Maybe,
there is another route.
There is another truce.
Just maybe,
I can smile again.
Put the sorrowness into the drain.

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When my friend told me to ignore and move on, I question myself the ability to move forward. I doubt much, but believe for more to gain. Ive done crying. Ive done mourning. Heck, why should I even care at the first place, looking back at all the memories that I know will bring back all the tears. The msgs in the inbox and some random thoughts are not real. I know somehow I feel bad for myself actually for being like how I am today. But I learned. I want to be stronger. For whatever prides left on me, I want to move. Forward.

This hurtful feelings are not without tears but tears never help but to release my tense. Only.

My own sort of tranquility.

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I cried nonstop for over an hour without any specific reason. I am so tired now i feel like throwing up. What a bad day.

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