Little bird please tell

Oh my little bird
Tell me why my head is hurting
Tell me why the heart is pounding
Tell me why the life is gloomy
For I want to know, little bird
That I can feel now how bad I am feeling.

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Time please give me some more strength.
Some more time or I will stop dead
Staring at the clocks of the old tales
Begin with the high intake of painless pills.

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Word of wisdom

Orang berbudi kita berbahasa
Orang memberi kita merasa
Orang tak sudi jangan dipaksa
Kerna hati badan binasa

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Be cool

Let us just smile to each other and pretend that nothing happened.
We exchange stories like no other things matter. Because this story is still going on and on. The story of dream high.

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Lose it

We don't know wgat we had until we are about to lose it.

Grab it back, and forget about it.

Lose it again.

We never be grateful.

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Tolong ingatkan aku

Kisah kau tersedar
Dengan saku penyeluk masa
Kau dampingi aku
Setiap detik jantungku berdetak
Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Bila marah merasuk minda

Kecewa menyelubungi jiwa

Aku lupa.

As told by Ana Rafali.

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Like a sweet

I am not a sweettooth person.
But when I really want something sweet, I'll find it. If not, oh well..
Not much in need of sweets, chocs or icecream..

Now that is how it is.
How sweet.

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Wow

Congratulation to you, my friend.
Hope that both of you will be happy always.
My blessings are always with you.

He is lucky to have you.
You are lucky to have her too.

Oh happy mode is in the air.
Wedding! Wedding!

A grin for a change.

Long since the last I feel like writing. Like sitting on a couch, stop, ponder, and write. Well, I did that today. And I figured that I have nothing much to write.

Have you ever come to a stage where you just let go of everything? Like when you are happy, you just be happy and let go of any other worries. When you are stressing your hair out about your problems you just let it go without solving them. When you do anything, you don't really think abut the consequences, but just do it because you want to? I have been asking myself, why am I trying so hard these days to please everybody around me when I know they don't bother.

Slowly, but surely, I will see to my own limit.
Questions unanswered for those which are rhetorically asked, intentionally made to make yourself feel better. Even I know that. Just to make sure that I am always in reality. Check.

Reality bites.

But even that doesn't really convey anything. I believe that when reality bites, you bite harder. Life is full with surprises.

Oh, yes. I am currently in whatever-mode, if that is what you want to know, stalkers. *grinning*

*turn the grin to a smile. Full with meanings*

For a change of life circle.

and for a change of wheel of Brisbane....

Thanks for this picture. 

Wallpaper-ed already.

Brisbane-sick.

Loud and clear

Little did I know I am still not as strong. When Syafa pointed that out just now i was like,'ohhhh.....'

A wakening call
A straightforward message
Loud and clear.

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That precious gesture.

Oh, today I saw her again. The old lady who used to gave me a big smile whenever I passed her at Kerinchi Station. Especially 3 years ago. Made my gloomy day a brighter one.

Little bit of this and that

Talked to few old friends recently. They update me about their life nowadays, how work life keep them busy, how their burden doubled when being independent, and their married life being husband (haha yes, you, Bob!) and wife (wink to you too N!). Worst of all, they keep on bugging me with reminders to enjoy my life as a student as I will miss it so much once I am working. Yeah, I know that. N, being a teacher is double your workload, when you can (sometimes) sit on your cube and doing nothing but blows nails, and even ym-ing me! You ungrateful girl! haha.

Egoism

an excessive or exaggerated sense of self-importance.
nonetheless proved to be fatal for some people,
but beneficial to the others.
self-centred? able to give and share?
think of one-self? compassionate towards others?




Egoist vs Altruist.


Love

Somewhere..

Over the distance.

Way apart.

Places

that I used to love

and want to visit some other time

And for that one place I demand,

to someone dear in heart.

I wish you well, I wish you safe

I wish you happy every single day.

Syhhh..

Just keep it,
Because you know it is not worth the pain.
When you are burning your own future over the candles of life, of love.
Just burn them all.
Burnt.
And cried over.

Kite bako je.

Stars from the above

Be my lucky charms.

Be my glittering pendant,
with a necklace I can wear.
Be my dangling bracelet.
Be my perfect ring.
Be my lovely studs.

And I will feel so safe.
For I always have the charms.
With me.

Bloodish!

Yes. I went extreme (for me!) today. Donated my blood? Check! At lasttttt...
After so many failed attempts (low blood pressure, finish the tube, etc) I can now proudly announce i have donated my blood. Once. -_-"

Babysteps ok. I never think I will be able to see this day. I hate blood, and I hate needles, what more syringe! But oh well.. It was not a pretty sight though. Only those who were there knew how scared to death I am! With so many questions, and the BIG needle with SO MANY blood that they took! Haha. But once they put the needle in my vein I smiled and tell everybody waiting, 'oh, it wasn't that bad...'. And the i-am-so-nervous-Grace said, 'like that la now!' haha. Pretty fun.

I planned to do something more fun today. Go out and do something stupid maybe? The plans were no longer applicable once I finish, i felt so dizzy and tired. Haha.

But. Today is the day that I just dont feel good. Even if it is not because of this bloodish event. Because I still feel it is bleeding. Something else i mean.

Live to see the day of today.

Of 24022010.

Sent from my iPhone

Because I deserve it

When things are not as how I wish they will be, I shall start to accept them as how they are now. Even better. Maybe.

Accepting the destiny.
Approve of the life as how it is.
Believe in God as He know best.
Stop worrying what will happen next.

And with a smile,
Calmly walk forward-
Proud to be who I am today.
Pat on my own back,
'You deserve to be strong'.
Believe it.
Confidently.

Because I deserve it.

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Of yesteryear's excitement.

Flowery feelings of that day,
Winking every flowery steps,
To live the flowery love of life.

Of yesteryear. This exact minute.

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I am

I am ok.
Just gathering all
The remaining sanity
The residual courage
The lingering sense
The leftover guts
Just about anything
Stiching them slowly.
To swathe the impair.
To keep me going.
Breathing.
I am ok.
Because-
I have to be.
I promised.

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216

"...But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not."

                             Al-Baqarah : 216

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Cutter and shapes

With the sharp edges,
They all linked together.
Embrace the warmth,
Of finding each other.

You think?

Which one is the most important?

Wealth?
Faith?
Love?
Or loyalty?

Salam Maulidurr Rasul.

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Speaking to nonbeing

Again.
For the route of wonderland is officially over.
However, it was worth over the series of whoaaaa's and caffeinated walks.
Blissfully glad, thank you.
Very much.

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Green cindarella.

When the prince tried to find his princess, he used the other glass slipper to find one that match his.

But i need another pair of green fipper that match mine, or mine his.

How I miss.
Even when I get to see one everyday.
No, using one.

Delicate memories.

Down down

So I saw this in last night's dream.
Beautiful-
Yet it has certain memories.

Miniminimynimore

Who is the worst out of us all?
When one runs without a shoe
Another pour a belly juice
While one plan to share a plate
Another skip for jelly beans
Oh miniminimynimore.
I think you have to fool us all
For at the end I see you call
To cheat and let the love on toll.

Miniminitinydrops.

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Wall of brick

Slowly disintegrating.
The rain is pouring,
Wash away the small bricks.
Even when the sun shines,
The mould kept on coming,
As a way of telling-
There is no way of forgetting,
Of how it will stay forever
By the great wall of brick.

Shower of the rain.
Ahh... The simple drops of pain.

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Half full or half empty?

The bottle is half full?
The bottle is half empty?

Does it really matter if the bottle is in need of syrup or juices?

Since the plain water is no full.

But no foul intended if we mix any sort of liquid available.

Sent from my iPhone

0

...
There is no end in a circle
N of 0? no.
Of darkness and pitchblack.
Of loneliness.

Firecrackers.

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Shining star

Shining star.
Shy away oh
So far
From within.
beat the most
To kill the form
Of gloomy storm
Hope is a thing
With nothing
But the drip
of Love.

Sent from my iPhone

to you the stranger

The stranger under the tree, you.
I am sorry, i know you too,
For what we need
Is to be true
But so afraid
To just go through

You being there over the tree
I shall say hey,
My name is Lily
But i just stand here
Waiting for the courage
But with the tears
That i must add

Hello, stranger.
Want to walk me home?

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When-

The hairbrush tangled
With hairs
Of the short ones
To the long ones.
From the day they outgrown.
Tangled with undo knots.
The roots.
The split ends.

I need a haircut.

Sent from my iPhone

X to Y

The gloomy day.

The weather? Greyish.
The soul? Empty.

So much of light colours.
Lost the pattern.

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Quoted from.

"If you love two persons, choose the second one. Because if you really love the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

-Liyana Jasmay-

I wonder if it may work like that. What if it does? Wait.. No way.

Sent from my iPhone

Crazy

The need to drink in the middle of the night. The need to take a deep breath. Slow.. Comforting.

Sometimes when we want something too much, we will never going to get it.
We fight, we lost, we forfeit the battle. We hope for the best, we lie to make it better. Even to ourselves.

I am losing something I hope I had not. It is the trust I wish I still have.

Sent from my iPhone

The joy of friendship

The joy of our 18years of friendship, and counting. This one.

One that you know you can be yourself whenever you are with her.

One that you know you need not to feel bad for being honest.

One with so much love and care only both understand.

One that accept each at the worst and the best.

One that trust is never an issue and secrets kept between them and no other.

One that will hurt one another but never turn their back.

One that will share laughs and tears, as they know best.

To this one friendship of 18 years, and counting.

For you, Izzati.
From, Izzaty.

Because I care

Things that even I don't have the answer myself. The act is neither something intended nor forced, it is just as it is. I may be blinded with what I want badly, but it is worth the try the pain.

Being far away sometimes make me feel sad and lonely. Yes. Insecure too.

Is it even worth it?

Enchanting the perfect line of ' I believe'.

Because I do believe,

Because I want to believe.

And..
Because I care.
For you.

Sent from my iPhone

Irritation

The very reason i chose to ignore is to be happy.

But when the ignorance causing the irritation, i keep on telling myself to think again about it.

When i keep quiet about something does that mean i am giving up? Or it is just another way of saying i can survive with no worries at all? Or i am just being ignorant again? I have no idea as well.

Being nice doesnt have anything to do with being bullied. It is just a way of saying i am better than that.

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The slow walk

It is the slow walk,
But the slow walk of the confidence.

It is the slow walk,
The short walk towards the destination.
Only reached when desired,
A walk full of stops, trials and turns.

It is the slow walk.
But the slow walk of the distance.

<del> reattaching whatever left, reminiscing whatever remembered </del>

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Goodbye and Hello

Thank you very much 2010.
I miss you already.

Hello 2011.

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To know a girl is to shop with her.

I came across this statement few times, and been thinking a lot about it since.

Whatever you read after this is purely from my own point of view.

I have few people that I love to shop with, and that includes those who can influence my decision, and those who just merely be my shopping partner. After all, I realized that I used  to love to shop alone at times, and when I can't make up my mind, I made hasty decisions, some that I regret later.

But there is this phase of my life when I am used to having people to remind me every second, from eating at the right meal at the right time, buying only things I need or things I can afford, and think twice (or zillion times) if I want to buy something unnecessary (read: only when I got extra money). And for a moment, I guess I am being too dependent.

Putting that point aside, I guess the statement of 'To know a girl is to shop with her' might be true. And vice versa; To know a guy is to shop with him.

For girls: Bring a guy with you to shop? That will be *gasp* a disaster!
To guys: Let a girl to tag along? Are you kidding?

Yeah yeah, heard that trillion times.

Browse for a moment and take what you want, pay, leave.
Browse for a moment, take what you like, put back, find another, compare (shape, size, colour, PRICE, quality etc etc), look at the options available, decide.
Browse for a moment, moody, leave with nothing.
Browse everything, analyse every single nano details.
List down whatever needed, take, leave.
The list goes on and on.

Sounds familiar?

I am a shopaholic, I love shopping.
I love to shop alone.
But I have few favourite people that I love to shop with, and love to follow when they go shopping.
Yes, I get to know few sides of him/her while shopping.
From their taste, to their habit, preference, perseverance, and even ability to resolve conflict.

My forever favourite shopping partner, of course my sister, angah.
But yes, I have this someone that will always be the one if I can choose to drag around for shopping.
And now I will do just about anything to let him say 'No' when I want to buy ridiculous things I laid my eyes on.

Shopping does show your my true colour, I guess.

15 years of friendship.

We have known each other since... 8 years old? Oh, God knows how many dramas we have been through, and I am glad that I still have her. To date, I want her to know that I love having her as my other twin, and I am sad to be apart since she will be leaving to Aussie soon. Yes, you read me right, she is going to the land I miss so much!

I love her when I saw her waiting for me at the airport.

Yes, you, Nur Izzati Mohd. Khairan.

When are you going to be free? I'll sleepover!

Different

Even when we are different,
I choose you.

unanswered and steered.

when you drive your ride,
and you ride it slow,
you know you need a destination.
but instead, you are given a direction.
you are shown, steered away,
so no destination given.
hoping for the real purpose forgotten.
the driver knows,
the passenger shows.

no answer given shows the unanswered.
the non promise.
the non risk taken.

the driver is driving,
slow.
slowly.
slower.

because the driver has forgotten the purpose of driving at the first place.

Why-

That i still cry whenever i remember this...

How do i know that i will feel this bad?

With you so far away i wish i can just fly?

And be by your side even just for a while?

Over a cup of tea? Over the laughs and smiles you always give?

Even just our silent moment of calming down, do nothing..

I am missing you.

Hello Malaysia

Of nonstop honking on the road,
With so much of cars parked anywhere they please,
With the watery and smelly toilet,
With rubbish everywhere,
With people being selfish in the public transport.
With all the lame ways to pick up on girls,
With the annoying salesgirl,
With the slow connection speed...
I KNOW I'M HOME!

Oh, happy birthday mama!!!

The apple of my heart

Thanks for everything.
Will miss you.
You know i will.
Hugs and kisses.

Forget me not. Forever.