The cold night

Of all night, I shiver.
Of nothing, I figure.
Of something called love.
Of anything called heartbroken.

The cold night goes further.
The body is here,
the soul isn't nonetheless.
The heart that before come first,
is now wafting around just aimless.

Now now.
Will-
The cold night brought
the cold hearts together?
Or-
The cold night tears
them forever?

Make your own wish, sweetheart.

From day to day

One day you are on top of everything. You are happy, surrounded by lovely people, and fully contented with your own life. You have everything you will ever ask for. You smile, you laugh, you make others around you feel jealous, that they think you are the most lucky person on earth.

They think.

Because one other day,
you might drop to the bottomless end, where you can see yourself trying to grab at everything around you to hold on to, but nothing there. You demand for many things you no longer get. Even things that you can get for free before but you might take advantage of. You cry, you fight, and you cry again. You in fact feel sick of yourself. For yourself.

Yet you are smiling.
And people think you are doing great. Just great.

When your life starts to break into pieces, you know you just want to be alone. But one thing that you don't know, you are actually in need of someone to be there. Not to say a thing, just be there.
Because misery loves company.

Ever been there?

Welcome to life.

messed up

The best thing in life is to be accepted by people for who you are, not for who they want you to be. Nonetheless, it doesn't mean you will never make mistake. It is nice to be told off by someone once in a while. Yes, it will kick the ego right on our face, but that will be a nice place to see how egocentric have you been for thinking world revolves only around you. That will be a stage where we can see our own flaw and somehow see from others point of view. No, we don't have to judge, just see it differently. We might think what we did is good for us, but we never know the real consequences of our own stupidity. It is from there you know that we had had our part of making mistake, and redeem yourself for it. From there, it will be a starting point for you to be better.

I made a mistake.

Hallucination

I must have been very much disturbed now,
to suddenly imagine things..
I heard the door bells.
I heard the phone rings.
I saw the yellow bag.
I saw the person there.
I tried to see,
see if I am dreaming.
Went downstairs, running.
Just to find nothing.
No bag, No man.
Just no one there.
I am hallucinating.

Too good to be true.

Fear to hear

This is a nightmare of fear.
Something you wish not to hear.
I crave for happiness, so-
Never play with the heart,
and this is a warning.
Not to let self hurt to occur,
with a dramatic narrative of people
and lives,
enmeshed in a deadly ritual
of passion, intrigue and corruption.
One,
shall invite the punishment
that will exceed
the feel of the crime.
Hurt me not.
Hurt me not.


Don't. Do. It.

Stupidly melancholic

So the proverbial dejected feelings begin
with the sudden lost of interest. 
From the other side of the world, of course. 
For the fear of being total at lost, 
the stillness remained as the only preference 
to abide by the rule of being survivors. 
One side is crestfallen down to the mouth, 
another oblivious. 
The deflated mode was perceptible 
although no immense action taken nonetheless . 
Fly, fly, roar into the sky,
the choice is in the hand, 
bar the bird then choose to be tied.
The plethora of alternatives to opt
hoard the preeminent perhaps?
No, not the contentment to be desired.
Perchance, the truth.
The verve.
The fervor

Old tale

We walk, and run, and stroll today,
keep on going in circle again.
The same old tale.
Then we just stare into the night sky,
along the downhill road we met
is a place of visible memories,
one time should we just miss.
A strange old tale.
It is what you see in fiction,
an unexpected scenario of life.
It is not always the happy ending,
that we may get.
Time cuts through
our unending memories.
We then look in the same direction.
Again.
This is the old tale.

The story once told to you..

Once upon a time,
there was a..
a...

She was a..
a...

He was a...
a...

But, one day,
they...

So....

Still, they...
He....
She....

The end.

........................................


(every 'THE END' is a new beginning of a new story. Don't stop)

Nothing but this

Other than kindness and smiles, 
I have but to offer you nothing else.

I can give you word,
of advice, of sharing, of giving you tips,
for you to think and use it wisely.

I can give you my shoulder,
to share some burden, we can make it lighter,
sure we can try.

I can give you my hands,
to help you out,with all i got,
include soothing pats and all the hugs.

I am no pretty,
not a princess with beauty and money.
Not a prize to display and forever keep.

I have nothing to offer but kindness and smiles.
So here I am,
please be my friend.

the first.

what will a life be without a secret?

So much of a little

every second is counted.
feel as if you are running out of time.
too many things to do,
too much of pressure,
too little of time.

to pursue or to resist?
to share or to keep?

the ultimate turning point?

Just go.

you came one day
popped out of nowhere
asking of one life
once you never care
then u ask me
have you now change?
oh yes I've changed.
to be someone you never think i will.
i am sorry i am not
a girl you used to date.
so what -you are the one
who never think of my heart
and now why should i
care of what you want?
i know i am bad
or worse i have been
but are you the one
who can judge me?
deep down inside i hope you know
you hurt me more than you think so
when you cheat on me
think i know nothing
but now you come
just because i am not
one i used to be?
oh please...note this.
maybe yes i changed a bit
but i am still the same
the old izzy.
just me but yeah i mature a bit
so please don't think
that i will let you hurt me
again n again.

go away!

When I am close to you

you come to me,
all smiling and welcoming,
so sweet the heart melting,
happy i am without knowing
that i will hurt in another minute.

i ran away indeed,
even i know i am in need,
of you being with me,
just be by my side,
stay here close to my heart.

i can see thousand stars above,
the moon shining with love,
the sun smiling so wide,
the skies so blue so nice,
when i'm close to you.

just because i want to,
doesn't mean i will.
doesn't mean i can.

because you are just a dream to me.

Abah.

Hai abah!

Waktu kecil-kecil dulu,
abah suka letak along di pangku.
Kata abah,
jangan nakal, dengar kata,
jadi anak baik, abah sayang.

Masa petang kita duduk di tangga,
banyak cerita banyak gelak tawa.
Kata abah,
orang Jepun asal dari Jawa.
kecil dulu? Along percaya!

Kalau bab makan lagilah penat,

banyak komen, pesanan, tak ingat!
Kata abah,
kecil dulu abah dah pandai masak!
Along makan tahu, masaknya tidak!

Bila besar kini jadi kawan,
abah banyak beri nasihat.
Kata abah,
hidup ini banyakkan bersabar,
tak semua benda kita akan dapat.

Sekarang abah jauh nun di Malaysia,
tapi tak apa, selalu SMS juga,
Kata abah,
jaga diri di tempat orang,
kalau rindu abah, jangan menangis banyak.

Walau abah kejam berkata,
walau abah gurau merata,
abah tetap along sayang,
abah tetap along cinta.
Along rindu nak peluk abah,
cium tangan dan pipi juga.

Ucap along kepada abah,

SELAMAT HARI BAPA!!!!!!!

(Hari Bapa : 21 Jun 2009)

Belonging

you are the voice,
the one in dream.
oh please leave,
i need it -peace.
but you keep haunting.
you know the words,
make me listen,
for whatever reason.
it hurts yes it is.
i know we never belong,
the voice oh yes,
you are the music, sure.
that was easy,
outside the norm,
the thunder, the rhythm.
thumping....

trapped in the own
misery

Mama

mama,
along nakal kan?
mama selalu kata along tak dengar cakap.
along tau along degil.
along nakal buat mama pening.
bila tak puas hati, along cakap tak bertapis.
tak jaga hati mama, tak tau kalau terluka.
along banyak susahkan mama,
mintak ini, buat itu,
masak ini, pergi situ,
mama mesti pening.
anak mama memang degil.

tapi ma,
bila jauh.....along rasa..
jauh......
sangat jauh.....
along rindu mama membebel.
kalau dulu along rasa penat nak dengar,
sekarang along boleh dengar 8jam tanpa henti,
hanya kalau mama depan mata.
along rindu.
nak peluk mama, cium mama,
cakap dengan mama...
pegang tangan mama...

mama, along mintak maaf banyak2.
along tau along banyak buat dosa dengan mama.
tp along tetap syg mama.
sayang along pada mama tak terhingga.

selamat hari ibu mama.



anak mama yang jauh,
along.

The heart that wavered

i think i need to say that i am happy.
just to clarify because i really am.
but i got this hard bad feeling.
that i shouldn't let my guard down.

with the things that go rather easy.
assignments submitted few days ago.
got WIP to be worried of and tests only.
but those are not what i am thinking though.

the heart that wavered so bad it beats-
so hard i thought i might cause it bleed.
do i need to make myself real clear?
that i feel nothing but total fear?

i guess this is rather complicated. random.

Jangan kerana bukan.

kalau kita jatuh, jangan kita salahkan batu.
sebab kita yang salah, tak tengok masa berjalan.

kalau kita sakit perut, jangan salahkan tukang masak.
sebab kita yangsalah, tidak pandai memilih makanan.

kalau kita hilang barang, jangan salahkan orang sekeliling.
sebab kita yang salah, kita tak jaga barang dengan baik.

kalau kita jatuh muflis, jangan salahkan orang lain.
sebab kita yang salah, tak pandai uruskan kewangan sendiri.

kalau make up kita comot, jangan salahkan orang lain.
sebab kita yang salah, tak pandai sapu make up kita sendiri.

kalau kita gagal periksa, jangan salahkan soalan dan penanda.
sebab kita yang memilih untuk menulis jawapan kita sendiri.

kalau kita kene kutuk, jangan salahkan orang lain.
sebab kita yang tidak berjaya mengambil hati semua orang.

kalau kita dibenci orang, jangan salahkan orang lain.
sebab kita gagal menunjukkan sikap yang disukai orang.

kalau kita kene marah, jangan salahkan orang lain.
sebab kita yang gagal menunjukkan reputasi yang memuaskan hati.

kalau kita terlupa, jangan salahkan orang lain.
sebab kita yang tak dapat ingat dengan baik.

dan kalau kita bersedih, jangan salahkan orang lain.
sebab kita yang memilih untuk menjadi rakan kepada kesedihan itu

it will never end.

it IS never end.

no matter how precious someone else is to you,
i want to live strong, not to torn into two,
without being broken and to be in half.
so that my heart wont take it rough.
even when i see things that i don't want to.
since it is hurt so deep when it comes to you.

i hope the night will come, swallow the sorrow,
the sorrow ive been hoping long to go,
far away, please, dont see me tomorrow,
or if you are here, please keep it low.
tears and sorrow caused my eyes to melt away.
when i think i run far enough but this story is never end.

1 to 1

i think you look good in red,
but i know u much prefer blue;
maybe i am a little bit mad,
but i will never hate you.

i know you can never be fat,
i just wish for you to be healthier;
to leave a friend is totally bad,
when friends will never leave each other.

do not take everything as burden and load,
for every problem must had the solution;
apology is indeed never cheap to sought,
especially when there got outer interruption.

you are angry enough to go wild,
i know i made things get harder;
one day i hope i can see you smile,
together we hold hands forever.

for the best-girlfriend

when i know there is only you,
who stay by me through and through.
even things go hard, i know deep in heart,
my care for you will stay untouched.

from the first we met, i know i am fully glad,
to have one like you, i am truly blessed.
when we laughed and cried, with us hand in hand,
there's nothing much to mind, we can comprehend.

so now i want you, have your wish come true,
be happy always, its your happy day.
but do know i thing, i want you to bring,
memories we had, forever in heart.

Happy birthday.

tough lad-y

vulnerable,
fragile,
brittle,
frail.

when we deny, yet we were alike,
push each other, then back together.
with heart unchanged, dream remained,
please keep the promises, give no excuses.

do not cry, i am here.
do not lie, it is clear.
when you are acting tough, it hurts.
yet when i did that, it is worse.

when u need to smile,
just to let others laugh,
thats absurd yet real,
but stop it, thats enough.

enough is enough

vulnerable,
fragile,
brittle,
frail.

when we deny, yet we were alike,
push each other, then back together.
with heart unchanged, dream remained,
please keep the promises, give no excuses.

do not cry, i am here.
do not lie, it is clear.
when you are acting tough, it hurts.
yet when i did that, it is worse.

when u need to smile,
just to let others laugh,
thats absurd yet real,
but stop it, thats enough.

Wen the going gets tough, you run

i rub my heavy eyelids to reveal,
a future in a shape of pastel;
at times i wish i am able to steal,
and to follow the scattered symbols.

its longer than the usual calls,
never to mind, but to follow than lead;
where the whispering sunlight falls
right through the trees, hoping to meet.

after spending days knowing
you laid bare your heart for the first time.
warming up the shivering feelings
reminded the nostalgic ways, the rhyme.







why do you always run away when the going going gets tough?

pieces

i rub my heavy eyelids to reveal,
a future in a shape of pastel;
at times i wish i am able to steal,
and to follow the scattered symbols.

its longer than the usual calls,
never to mind, but to follow than lead;
where the whispering sunlight falls
right through the trees, hoping to meet.

after spending days knowing
you laid bare your heart for the first time.
warming up the shivering feelings
reminded the nostalgic ways, the rhyme.

To cease to exist, the existence itself

hey,
in reality,
there are times when you cant come up
with the right answer..
thing that you cant do anything about.
not all people can become happy.
why?
because happiness corrupts people.
we adapt to the happiness we obtain once,
and pursue even greater happiness.
we are greedy, weren't we?
thats why people are able to feel pain as well.
if people doesn't feel sad, they will never know
what happiness is,
how heaven the feeling is

Reality dream

She sat on the porch and daydreaming,
That she had someone through thick and thin,
She hold his hand and they had world,
When fate was nonetheless, nothing but cruel.
She looked around to find her treasure,
And then she met his manly look,
A face like his gives her pleasure,
Like the page of a pleasant book.
A treasure to be cherished,
A gift from God above,
The beauty of a relationship
Touched by unconditional love.
Still, she felt the empty hole,
Which yearn for something, for more.
Deep in heart she feel its cold,
When something is missing, that she know.
Undiminished solemn and misery,
It is multiplex, yet it is how it be.

Benar?

2007
putrajaya tersenyum ceria
pesta bunga api galak diraya
sambutan meriah
penuh gelak tawa,
riang gembira

1957
dataran merdeka segar..
keriangan juga terserlah.
namun,
perbedaan yang tiada taranya
di kala itu,
keterharuan diuntai dengan air mata
menitis seiring dengan harapan
sinar kebebasan menunjuk jalan

50 tahun kita merdeka
50 tahun kita bebas dari genggaman mereka..
bebas!!lepas!!

dalam himpitan ribuan anak watan
ada seorang tua,menopang dagunya,merintih....

sebentar anak muda!
adakah kamu benar benar merdeka?

sebentar anak muda!
adakah kamu benar benar merasai nikmat bebas?
menghayati erti dan nikmat kemerdekaan?
melalui apa?
keperitan?kesusahan?
atau sekadar cerita dan ilusi semata?

sebentar anak muda!
kamu sebenarnya lupa,
alpa dengan nikmat dunia
tak tersingkap sejarah lama
yang sepatutnya membuka mata anda,anda dan anda

selamat menyambut 50tahun kemerdekaan,Malaysia
anda gagah!!
semoga berjaya meraikan
500 tahun, 5000 tahun kemerdekaan kelak

bergantung kepada kesedaran generasi kini,
dan akan datang
kerna sebenarnya,
anda kelihatan gagal dengan bergaya...

rintihan orang tua ditelan angin lalu.