0

...
There is no end in a circle
N of 0? no.
Of darkness and pitchblack.
Of loneliness.

Firecrackers.

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Shining star

Shining star.
Shy away oh
So far
From within.
beat the most
To kill the form
Of gloomy storm
Hope is a thing
With nothing
But the drip
of Love.

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to you the stranger

The stranger under the tree, you.
I am sorry, i know you too,
For what we need
Is to be true
But so afraid
To just go through

You being there over the tree
I shall say hey,
My name is Lily
But i just stand here
Waiting for the courage
But with the tears
That i must add

Hello, stranger.
Want to walk me home?

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When-

The hairbrush tangled
With hairs
Of the short ones
To the long ones.
From the day they outgrown.
Tangled with undo knots.
The roots.
The split ends.

I need a haircut.

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X to Y

The gloomy day.

The weather? Greyish.
The soul? Empty.

So much of light colours.
Lost the pattern.

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Quoted from.

"If you love two persons, choose the second one. Because if you really love the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

-Liyana Jasmay-

I wonder if it may work like that. What if it does? Wait.. No way.

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Crazy

The need to drink in the middle of the night. The need to take a deep breath. Slow.. Comforting.

Sometimes when we want something too much, we will never going to get it.
We fight, we lost, we forfeit the battle. We hope for the best, we lie to make it better. Even to ourselves.

I am losing something I hope I had not. It is the trust I wish I still have.

Sent from my iPhone

The joy of friendship

The joy of our 18years of friendship, and counting. This one.

One that you know you can be yourself whenever you are with her.

One that you know you need not to feel bad for being honest.

One with so much love and care only both understand.

One that accept each at the worst and the best.

One that trust is never an issue and secrets kept between them and no other.

One that will hurt one another but never turn their back.

One that will share laughs and tears, as they know best.

To this one friendship of 18 years, and counting.

For you, Izzati.
From, Izzaty.

Because I care

Things that even I don't have the answer myself. The act is neither something intended nor forced, it is just as it is. I may be blinded with what I want badly, but it is worth the try the pain.

Being far away sometimes make me feel sad and lonely. Yes. Insecure too.

Is it even worth it?

Enchanting the perfect line of ' I believe'.

Because I do believe,

Because I want to believe.

And..
Because I care.
For you.

Sent from my iPhone

Irritation

The very reason i chose to ignore is to be happy.

But when the ignorance causing the irritation, i keep on telling myself to think again about it.

When i keep quiet about something does that mean i am giving up? Or it is just another way of saying i can survive with no worries at all? Or i am just being ignorant again? I have no idea as well.

Being nice doesnt have anything to do with being bullied. It is just a way of saying i am better than that.

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The slow walk

It is the slow walk,
But the slow walk of the confidence.

It is the slow walk,
The short walk towards the destination.
Only reached when desired,
A walk full of stops, trials and turns.

It is the slow walk.
But the slow walk of the distance.

<del> reattaching whatever left, reminiscing whatever remembered </del>

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Goodbye and Hello

Thank you very much 2010.
I miss you already.

Hello 2011.

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To know a girl is to shop with her.

I came across this statement few times, and been thinking a lot about it since.

Whatever you read after this is purely from my own point of view.

I have few people that I love to shop with, and that includes those who can influence my decision, and those who just merely be my shopping partner. After all, I realized that I used  to love to shop alone at times, and when I can't make up my mind, I made hasty decisions, some that I regret later.

But there is this phase of my life when I am used to having people to remind me every second, from eating at the right meal at the right time, buying only things I need or things I can afford, and think twice (or zillion times) if I want to buy something unnecessary (read: only when I got extra money). And for a moment, I guess I am being too dependent.

Putting that point aside, I guess the statement of 'To know a girl is to shop with her' might be true. And vice versa; To know a guy is to shop with him.

For girls: Bring a guy with you to shop? That will be *gasp* a disaster!
To guys: Let a girl to tag along? Are you kidding?

Yeah yeah, heard that trillion times.

Browse for a moment and take what you want, pay, leave.
Browse for a moment, take what you like, put back, find another, compare (shape, size, colour, PRICE, quality etc etc), look at the options available, decide.
Browse for a moment, moody, leave with nothing.
Browse everything, analyse every single nano details.
List down whatever needed, take, leave.
The list goes on and on.

Sounds familiar?

I am a shopaholic, I love shopping.
I love to shop alone.
But I have few favourite people that I love to shop with, and love to follow when they go shopping.
Yes, I get to know few sides of him/her while shopping.
From their taste, to their habit, preference, perseverance, and even ability to resolve conflict.

My forever favourite shopping partner, of course my sister, angah.
But yes, I have this someone that will always be the one if I can choose to drag around for shopping.
And now I will do just about anything to let him say 'No' when I want to buy ridiculous things I laid my eyes on.

Shopping does show your my true colour, I guess.

15 years of friendship.

We have known each other since... 8 years old? Oh, God knows how many dramas we have been through, and I am glad that I still have her. To date, I want her to know that I love having her as my other twin, and I am sad to be apart since she will be leaving to Aussie soon. Yes, you read me right, she is going to the land I miss so much!

I love her when I saw her waiting for me at the airport.

Yes, you, Nur Izzati Mohd. Khairan.

When are you going to be free? I'll sleepover!

Different

Even when we are different,
I choose you.

unanswered and steered.

when you drive your ride,
and you ride it slow,
you know you need a destination.
but instead, you are given a direction.
you are shown, steered away,
so no destination given.
hoping for the real purpose forgotten.
the driver knows,
the passenger shows.

no answer given shows the unanswered.
the non promise.
the non risk taken.

the driver is driving,
slow.
slowly.
slower.

because the driver has forgotten the purpose of driving at the first place.

Why-

That i still cry whenever i remember this...

How do i know that i will feel this bad?

With you so far away i wish i can just fly?

And be by your side even just for a while?

Over a cup of tea? Over the laughs and smiles you always give?

Even just our silent moment of calming down, do nothing..

I am missing you.

Hello Malaysia

Of nonstop honking on the road,
With so much of cars parked anywhere they please,
With the watery and smelly toilet,
With rubbish everywhere,
With people being selfish in the public transport.
With all the lame ways to pick up on girls,
With the annoying salesgirl,
With the slow connection speed...
I KNOW I'M HOME!

Oh, happy birthday mama!!!

The apple of my heart

Thanks for everything.
Will miss you.
You know i will.
Hugs and kisses.

Forget me not. Forever.

Over the crunchy choc.

The friendship grown to be more than just friends. It is now the bond of someone you want in your life. Thank you for being the girl I adore, Nurizyan Sapar.

The rollers

A rollercoaster,
Ups and downs.
Where we see the worst and best,
The good and bad
The moments where we wish we can do them all over again
The excitement, the rush
From the heart within.
In her.
In him.

Roll roll.
Till you no longer can.

Wanting need and needing the want

When I was a little kid, I used to think that these two words conveyed the same meaning. "i want the cake because i need to eat", "i want the toys because i need to play", " i want the book because i need to read". Things like that.

But when you are older you get to realize that whatever you want is not necessarily what you need. And whatever you need doesnt necessarily what you want. That is why when we are talking about what you want and what you need, it might lead to a never-ending discussion.

When you need me, but you don't want me, i will stay
But when you want me, but you don't need me, i'll go.
(Nanny McPhee)

But just maybe, we want things that we need just because we need things what we want.

Not because i need but because i want therefore i need to satisfy my wanting.

Sounds selfish? Go Figure the meaning.

I want to walk to you because i want you. I need to walk to you because i need you.

Come back faster.

Sent from my iPhone

Rain rain please just stay, just tonight please if you may.

Raindrops

Whenever it is raining, I always feel sort of melancholy. The feel of being sad, romantic, fear, happy, contented, etc will take their own turn each time. One by one.

As of tonight, I feel nostalgic. I remember one day when it was raining so hard I decided to just step outside and do nothing. Not exactly nothing. Well, let just say it was a good cover. But it works. Sadly, I am not really a rain person. I mean, I get sick easily if I played in the rain.

So I stepped outside. I suddenly remember someone gave me a lovely umbrella, with a tree motive printed on it. It is a really nice umbrella, one I am reluctant to use. But tonight, I played with the rain. With the umbrella. With the water drops. I know I miss this someone. I know I need to keep myself strong. After all, I am still seeing clouds and shadows on what will happen next. Next? Stop.

Rain rain please just stay.
Just tonight please if you may.

thank you

Oh. The rain stopped.

With no words

the push on that swing

Swing the swingswing, Say nothing.

No words needed. The moment treasured.

One you can sit on a porch swing with,

 never say a word, 

then walk away with the feel of the best conversation ever.

That someone.

yes, you.

the shoulder to cry on

If running is possible to reach you, I am already on my way now.

=)

I am happy thank you very much. Yes, despite everything in my daily life.

Sent from my iPhone

one step closer.

to Malaysia..

Metallica concert

It was awesome thank you very much!!

Kitchen model

I am so a teacher hahahhaha. Manage to make this in 1 hour and i am so proud of it now. Dont you dare complain!

Jamming session!

Few scratches and we are all done

holding on while you still can

stamping on all the floor possible

running off all the way you happen
to find release
to seek company

bring back the laughs the tears the love everywhere

to make it worth every ticks and tocks.
get the pad so then we lock.

For that every second is worth thousand memories.

countdown in officially begin.

yes, i am aware of you. and yes, i am ignoring you. doesn't mean i never care. as long as he is happy.

What we do in class?

Stradbroke Island

The BIG wave

Went to Stradbroke Island for the second time. This time just to relax ourselves. Had a nice picnic despite the weather. Planning to go on the other trip next time. Finger crossed, please do not rain.

p/s: with lovely companion, I don't complain much.

Eid-ul Fitr

The last day of Syawal.

I will miss you.

wish

-ing you wonderful years ahead,
with or without,
i am still glad.

thanks for giving me smiles
and reasons to smile again.

enjoy the card and the cake.

Brisbane Open House

Masonic Temple

A nice trip to explore the place I thought I am familiar with. Nice outing with nice company. =)

Shoes for thought

For the memory of this baby,
I am in love.

Happy Malaysia Day!

Brisbane life I shall forever remember.

Whilst gazing at the haziness, I shall thank you The Merciful,

for granting me a chance to keep living.

A year older, a year wiser,

to make up for whatever I believe I am still lacking.

Life is never prosaic, I shall be ready nonetheless

for the love, for the pain, for the laughs and tears in vain.

Happy is subjective, where none is the objective,

use to the fullest whatever time that left remain.

Don't want to lose, don't want to force.

Don't want to cry, don't want to die.

Tonight is already late, tonight is the date

Wish that everything is on for the game. 

The deadly one. 

Roses, butterflies and rainbows.

With the poisons, crows and arrows.

Happy Birthday to me.

Thanks for the lovely wishes.

Thanks for the thoughtful present.

Thanks for the hugs, kisses and love.

For I am surrounded by beautiful and lovely people.

I Thank YOU, The Merciful.

Why?

Vanity mirror reflects the long forgotten deed.
Why? Lost long gone now the urge the need.
Absence that majorly felt.

Window, window on the wall,
Open up please,
Please show me more.
Window, window on the wall,
Give me chance for the remaining drops

Remaining drops that thou notice not.

The best of joy

A little pray, to take me there.
The joy to have, the best to keep.
A dream to catch, a soul to match.
For what is left, a love to see.

The more to come!

Beautiful people

Lovely crowd

The feeling of uncertainty;

The anxiousness over things to come?
The unanswered question of mostly rhetorical.

Eid Mubarak!
Herston people, much love and thanks for making the day memorable.

Eid Mubarak.

picture is taken from the facebook account, credit to the photographer

The walk after late for sembahyang raya

Wonderland DST

Move your stinky butt, you sorrowness!
I am already happy here, super coolness.
I am going to tie you up, and shove you to the rack faster.
I am going to the zu-wonder to make myself hyper,
I am going to dance to make me happier.

For that thoughtful move,.
Thank you Thank you Thank you.
No, I can never thank you enough fullstop(s)

Oh, have I told you the story of Burung Murai?
Google it.

=)

Please tell to little birdie that I need extension.
Just a little more.

Merdeka celebration?

Had a classic moment by having the rerun of all 'Merdeka' ads last night.


The reminders?
The message?
The sentimental value?
The laughters?

and sure, the patriotic mode.

Happy 53rd, Malaysia.

honeystar

The honey star?
Crave much.

Savor the moment while still can.

Once unused, thrown to the side, it will be.

Just like always.

Karma, no?

Sort of like a slap
from the own hand.
For the own face

waterdrops at 0254

When the calming waterdrops give you the reason to smile,
why must you feel otherwise?
Forget it. Being contented has nothing to do with selfish.
Says the ignorant B.

Harder to tell, harder to trick.
One hand of the spell, one hand to spill.

Well, someone wise told me,
life goes on.

Been feeling a bit dabedidabedu lately,
shall I proceed?

Plan to kill.

The assignment wave is coming.
Preparation is in the making.
Kill the buzz! Kill the biz!
Know that you can do it.
A little more of effort is all you need.

That is for the help? The call?
the management part is already done.
As the rain is pouring,
the sprinting must not be easy.
Lets celebrate.

Reasons to smile.

The night walk,
the late coffee,
the prayers as they could be.
Contentment of one that seek
the meaning of life in it.

Ramadhan Kareem.

For the chance to pray,
for the urge to sahur,
for the time to recite Quran,
for the fasting time,
for the tarawikh
and more to come,
I thank You, the Most Merciful.

Pop!

and there goes the blow.
back and forth- oh so the flow
so big so small
wont show wont tell
the least can do
for that is true